Living life is for new experiences and challenges. Making the most of the time being and being happy. There are many different ways to make yourself happy and living life to the fullest but do you know what there is more of? Experiencing new things and challenging yourself. Some experiences can be fun and crazy and some can be very simple like trying a new food for the first time.
I've always wanted a tattoo since I saw my aunt Lacey get one. I thought they were so cool and yes we all hear about how when we get old they won't look as pretty but I didn't care. As I got older I started looking at all the different tattoos I could get when I turned 18. My mom wasn't into any of that kind of stuff until a couple years ago. My moms' sisters all wanted to get a sister tattoo together but it hasn't happened. My mom doesn't like unusual piercings either, it took me forever to get her to let me get my nose pierced. When I asked if I could get my cartilage pierced she flipped out on me and told me no that it took her forever to let me get my nose.
Once I finally moved out of my moms' house and into my own house I knew I could make my own choice to get a tattoo or not. My aunt Tasha and I planned on getting a tattoo later on when my uncle was done drawing her tattoo. My uncle never got to it so it would have been a long wait. My boyfriend was really against me getting a tattoo he would always saying it's not meant to be on your body. God didn't make you that way.

Then my boyfriend and I were going to town one night and he tells me a secret I wasn't supposed to know yet. His 18th birthday was coming up on September 3rd and his mom told him that his aunt and his mom were gonna pay for him to get a tattoo. When I got told that I chewed him out for being a hypocrite. He then started laughing, then went on to tell me he wanted us to get our first tattoos together. Not a couple one though! After he told me what his mom told him I got super excited because it was actually gonna happen this time!
It took us forever to get an actual plan to get our tattoos. His mom eventually told me she wanted to get them done the weekend of his birthday. They are both bad at planning, let me tell you I had to set up everything and it wasn't easy working with them to get a final plan. It took me two weeks to get a final plan. Once I got a final plan it was stuck and it was my job to communicate with the tattoo artist. Which all the planning was easy for me. I'm a good planner.
The tattoo artist worked at a shop that my best friends nephews mom owned. I knew I was in good hands because I knew the owner, it was local, and her sketches looked really good. When it came to the day of us getting our tattoos my boyfriend had to go work with his uncle. He was supposed to get off early enough to go get our tattoos together because that's what he wanted.
Instead, he came home early and didn't want to come with me to get my tattoo so his sister came with me instead. I wasn't nervous at all, then I stepped into the shop and I started sweating and getting really warm. The tattoo artist had me fill our some papers and then she pulled me back into her room. She could tell I was nervous. I told her it was my first tattoo and she was like "go you! you are a bad ass for getting your first on your hand". Then another artist comes in her room and says "what do we have here?" we showed him and he told me I was a gangster for getting my first on my hand then continues to say getting it done right on my bone is gonna hurt. That scared me even more!
The artist was super nice and caring. She wanted to let me just get a feel for it first and I did, I felt fine so she kept going. It honestly didn't even hurt at all!! Whenever I tell people this they tell me I'm crazy but I think getting that tattoo was very therapeutic, it felt like someone was playing with my hair and I wanted to fall asleep. My tattoo took a little over two hours. My boyfriend came at like an hour into my tattoo and when I was finally finished my artist told me I sat so well, better than some artist can sit when getting tattoos.
My boyfriend got his right after mine and let me tell you he is way more picky with his tattoo and how he wants it, it was funny to watch him. He also said it didn't hurt him. His tattoo only took an hour. He was getting a bible verse and I got flowers that wrapped around my hand. They were both beautiful pieces and eventually we will get more.
This was such a huge jump for me and a big experience for me. I got to get a tattoo that I loved and wanted for a long time with someone I love. We got to experience getting tattoos for our first times together. I challenged myself by getting my first on my hand and I don't regret it. Always always always challenge yourself and experience new things! Don't ever listen to what other people tell you about things you are passionate about, what you like, or things that make you happy. Do what you want, what makes you happy! Experience life!

Stress happens in many different ways. You can overthink and stress yourself out or wait until the last minute to write a paper and stress yourself out. There are many different ways of stressing yourself out or others out.

We all have our own boats of stress. Some might have minor stressors and some might have major stressors. As little kids, we have nothing to stress about. We just do what our parents and teachers say. We don't care what we look like or who we play with, were all just friends.

Once we get into middle school that's when everything starts changing. We start caring about what boys think of us, what we look like, and who our friends are. My stress started in 8th grade. That's when everything hit me. Growing up I always hear the stereotype that kids of teen moms will struggle in school and some won't even finish high school or even go to college. That started off my middle school/ high school years bad. 8th grade is when I started getting bullied more, dad issues, and school struggles. I felt like a lot was pulling me down.

My freshman year was probably my hardest year. I struggled a lot in math and kept almost not being able to play sports. I was one of those kids that didn't get along with my math teachers I felt like they taught to the kids that knew what they were doing instead of the kids that were struggling. I struggled so much I didn't get the help I needed so I got a D in math my freshman year. That year I noticed that I was struggling with depression. All these things were stressing me out I didn't know how much more I could take.

My sophomore year was a little better I had more classes I liked and that I understood. I had a lot of my friends in my classes so we could work together. The one thing that stressed me out that year were my English books. They were all Shakespeare and I struggled with that. I didn't understand anything in those books. Luckily I watched the movies and that helped with passing my classes, we also had cartoon books that my teachers would let me borrow. 

We also would talk about the chapter as a class after we were done reading or in between. Math was still a struggle to me, I hated my new math teacher and she was the same way. If I didn't get what I was learning she would get frustrated with me and say we can talk another day. That didn't set me off in the right way so it made me more stressed out.

By Junior year I was less stressed about school but more stressed about graduating the next year. I finally got math and passed with a B so I was so grateful! A lot of my classes were easy and I had more teachers I liked and had a great connection with. More of these teachers were being more helpful than not helping me at all. One thing that stressed me out was my science class. I'm so bad at science but I needed some advanced science classes. I was extremely grateful that teacher was helpful in anyway possible.

My senior year was super easy besides my last term. I had to take math because I failed math my sophomore year. So I need a few more credits in math. Luckily my math teacher that year helped me so I could graduate and I passed math with a B! Knowing I was on the right track to graduate and that I passed my smarter balance tests made me not stress so much and love my senior year! I had to take one more advanced science class so I took biology. The teacher that taught it was new that year so we were very skeptical about her but gave her a chance. The class was fun but also hard. I was scared I wasn't gonna do so well in that class but I also passed with a B! My senior year was only stressful because I didn't wanna have bad grades before I graduated.

In college, my stress is more toward not having money for things I need or buying Christmas presents for my family. I’m less stressed about passing classes because I attend my classes, turn them in, and check my grades often. I know I'm doing good and I'm proud. I try to do all I can to make as much money as possible to get by but I wanna do more than just getting by. I work extra hours and offer to babysit kids just so I can pay rent and be able to buy others presents.

In other words, stress can be hard to deal with or pass but as long as you ask for help or do things before the due date you will help yourself and others. Always reach out even if you don't want to it will help you in the long run.

Pain

I was once your little girl but now I'm not that same girl 

anymore.

You made me change with all that banned. 

I still love you and I always will.

You tell me one thing and leave me hanging to do another with

your new fam. 

I still might be your little girl but to me I have to grow up and 

make choices for my own.

You try to make time for me but thats only once a week.

You stood me up when I was young so now I will always be 

stung.

I will always be here when you learn

to change.

Last weekend was one of the hardest weekends that have dragged on into a hard week. I'm hoping it doesn't drag on for months. Saturday night rolled around into Sunday morning but back to Saturday night. Something called daylight savings. We all gained an hour but it feels like we lost a few hours.
I can't seem to get myself out of bed and when I do I feel like I didn't sleep at all!
My day seems so long and exhausting. When it hits 6 P.M I just wanna go get in bed because it feels like 10 P.M. I go outside and it's dark by 4:30-5 making me think it's already past my bedtime. I try and stay up and do all my homework but I lay in bed starting to fall asleep. In the middle of my class or after classes I go home and take a nap for a couple hours.Please bring back the light to help me stay up longer.

In June of 2016, I made my first adult decision. One that had a lot of responsibilities linked to it. Something that needed a lot of time,effort, and compassion. He needed me but I think I needed him more.
My boyfriend's landlord has a bunch of stray cats and what does a bunch of stray cats lead to? A bunch of pregnant stray cats, then that leads to more cats out in the world. She can't give them away on facebook because everyone is very harsh to her because she doesn't do anything to fix that she has a bunch of stray cats and she can't just leave them down at her house. She tries to find good homes for these kittens but sometimes it a lot harder than we think. Some kittens we don't know about for weeks on end and they become wild kittens like their mothers and some stay tame if we get them soon enough.
My boyfriend's sister was informed that she had kittens and that she wanted her to go down to her house to interact with them so they stay tamed so she can eventually  give them to a good home. She then told me that their landlord had kittens and me being an animal lover I jumped up with joy and wanted to go see them. We then walked down there and saw 3 beautiful kittens, 2 all black (might of been twins) and one orange (he was a big boy)! Their mother was a beautiful black and orange calico. At first, she wasn't sure of us touching her babies but kinda just sat back and watched us play with them. They all looked really healthy just the runt was really skinny so we were afraid that something was gonna happen to it. We tried feeding it as much as we could.
A few weeks later I talked to the owner and asked if I could take one for myself then talked to my boyfriend's mom. My mom didn't want a cat at our house so then  I knew that I probably wasn't gonna be able to have the cat but then my boyfriend's mom was sweet enough to let him stay there for 3 months. After both the owner and my boyfriend's mom said yes I made the decision of taking him. They were still pretty little maybe 5-6 weeks and still needed their mother even though she wasn't feeding them and they were eating wet food I still wanted to play it safe. I would go down there days at a time to go check on my little baby and take it for awhile just so it could get used to me.
 I finally got to bring her home and I finally picked a name for her, Ava Marie Self. I loved it so much! I bought her cute little collars that she wouldn't fit in yet. I posted about her and everything. I would call her Ava and tell everyone her name was Ava but then one day someone told me that they thought she was a he. I was so sad I wanted it to be a girl. So after that, I tried to figure out a boy named I liked to just keep in mind tell we could really tell if it was a boy or girl. I had about 3 names I liked but then my boyfriend and I agreed on one finally. We both like Maverick for his first name and then I thought Luciano (my boyfriend's middle name) went well with it and then, of course, Self as the last name.
August 10th I was gonna take him to a shelter that helps lower the cost and drives the animals to the vet to get vaccines and spay/neuters the animals for cheaper. He was a male so I know males spray to mark their territory and I was moving into a new house and didn't want him doing that at my house so I was taking action beforehand. That day I took him in at 6:30 A.M and then I got ready for my interview up in Beaverton then went to Beaverton with my boyfriend. They told we can pick him back up at 7P.M so we went on our way.
Well on our way back I missed a call from an unknown number, they left me a voicemail and I listened to it once I parked. It was the vet calling me to tell me that my baby had a heart murmur. I was so scared and sad at the same time. I felt so helpless and just wanted to pick my baby up and cuddle him.
They wanted to know if I still wanted to go on with the surgery or just to leave and check back on it in a month to see if it got any better. I then called my boyfriend's mom to see what I should do. She told me that it could go away a little later and that if I wanted to wait that would be totally ok. So I called the vet back and said no sorry I would like to wait and come back next month. That night I went and picked him up it was so quite in the room and as soon as he heard me talking he started whining for me.
3 weeks after that I took him back at no charge and I was still super scared he was gonna have it again but I kept trying to think positive. A few hours later I got that call again and I knew what it was, he still had the heart murmur but I knew my cat was a strong boy and that he could handle it! He did just that and more. That same day he was up running around and playing.
I'm a little over 5 months having this little bundle of joy and I wouldn't change him for a thing! He is beautiful in every color he changes into and all the crazy, funny things he does. He's a huge part of my life and a little piece of home to snuggle every night. He makes sure I'm never alone and makes me happy when I'm sad.
A little update on him, he's a little over 5 and a half months old. He just lost about 3 teeth in the last week. He likes to sleep a lot when I'm not home and lays at the door until I walk in the door and greet him. He purrs like crazy when he hears me talk to him or if I pet him. He becomes a spazz once I'm home or when I wanna go to sleep. Again I wouldn't trade him for the world! I love being his mama.

Who's your best friend? The one you can be you around, joke around with,and love unconditionally? How'd you become best friends? A best friend to me is someone you have fun with, can be yourself around, someone you trust, and someone you value over everyone else.
My best friend is my boyfriend. The guy I've known since we were in 2nd/3rd grade. When we were younger we always hung out, he had a crush on me but I never saw him as anything more than a little brother or cousin. We would be around each other every day all the time! My best friend at the time was his best friends sister. All 4 of us hung out, adventurer places, and always made up new things to do. As we grew up my best friend at the time and I broke away from each other and were no longer friends. I saw him at school but that was pretty much it. He would always see me in the halls and say hi to me, wave, and smile. I still thought he was creepy but I respectfully waved back and said hi.
Years later he moved to a different school and I wasn't seeing him in the halls anymore I was kinda sad but was kinda like ok it's fine. A year past and he came back to Dayton. I got super excited, I texted my friend and was like "Dude Brants back!!", we both were super excited.
He started talking to a new girl and I wasn't very fond of her but if he was happy then I was gonna leave him alone. It was the end of the year and Brant was playing basketball in the gym, I was walking into the gym. As I walked out my purse got stuck on the door handle and I completely embarrassed myself.
We started Snapchatting again and I found of that he and that girl broke up. She was actually dating a different guy from a different school while with him. He was heart broken and I tried helping him out of the bad place he was in at the time. Sooner than later we started talking a lot more. One day he sent me a picture of a new movie coming out called Max. He said we should go watch it once he got back from helping his grandpa in Washington. I was looking forward to the day he got back.
Finally, at this point in my life, I wasn't looking at him the same way I used to.
He got back and he came and picked me up to go watch the movie, I never was nervous around him but that day I was super nervous and had a bunch of butterflies! He bought popcorn and we started eating it little by little but then stopped. He felt awkward and his mouth got super dry.
After that first date, we had more and more and then finally after 3 months of going on dates he finally asked me out on September 2nd, 2015. He's my best friend and I wouldn't want it to be anyone else. He's the one I can wrestle with, be myself with, joke around with, he makes me laugh/ smile, and most of all he's the one I love unconditionally. He's my best friend who's yours?

My Papa and I 

Kayla Isabella Peguero, that is my name. In 1996 my mom was making bad decisions as she was only 17 years old in her Junior year. She met a senior boy at her school named Rogelio. They ended up dating for awhile sooner than later she made that bad decision and I was conceived.
Both of them being very young you can only imagine how they're parents reacted. My moms family is a huge family and super involved one also. My grandfather, her father was very disappointed in her. My dad's mother was the only one that was really involved in his life and she was very disappointed in both of them , his father was an alcoholic and didn't care much about him.

My Mom, me, and my Mima(Grandma)

 After all the disappointment went away everyone was getting excited about the new addition to the family. On my mom's side I was gonna be the first born niece/nephew and on my dads, I was the 3rd niece/nephew.

My Step-dad and I

My Great Granny and I

My parents were super scared and told friends before their parents. Once the whole telling the parents happened they got super excited to have a baby, they were still really scared as anyone is no matter what age you are. Once they found out what sex I was gonna be they started looking at names. My parents really liked the name Bailey for me and they were set on it, but soon that would change, My mom and grandma both liked watching soap operas, Young in the Restless and General Hospital. There was an actor on there and her real name was Kayla and my mom loved that name. They were still set on Bailey.

My brother, sisters(twins),mom, step-dad, and I

Labor day came, 2 weeks later than my initial due date. I came into this world after a long night of labor. When my parents saw my face for the first time they knew I wasn't a Bailey, they soon changed their mind to Kayla. I was cherished and loved by many as I am today. I may not have my dad in my life anymore but I'm super strong and have so much more to fill in his spot.

Me, Auntie Anna, Mom, Aunt Lacey, and my Aunt Tasha.